In this series of The Most Underrated Musical Instruments, we will be discussing the triangle. A simple, effective, yet fairly queer instrument.
The triangle dates back to medieval times where it wasn’t an instrument at all, but rather a weapon. You see, if thrown at a high enough speed, this fucker could kill. The reason the triangle was used was that upon hitting the enemy, you would hear the distinct ‘ding’ that emanates from the triangle knowing you got the kill. A very effective weapon when used properly but it did have a downside. A problem with using the triangle as a weapon was it was a 1 shot, 1 kill tool therefore making it highly ineffective in the hands of a less skilled ‘tosser’. This ultimately brought the demise of this as a weapon and more to a musical instrument. The triangle was the direct cause to the creation of the boomerang.
As time progressed another popular use of the triangle was to call everyone for lunch/supper/dinner/the hookers are here and so on. It was a highly effective tool in that sense because of the high pitch it gave off. This worked because the men could heard this over the machinery they worked with. But as time progressed, the triangle eventually gave way to the wives just screaming at the top of their lungs. Now I know what you are asking, “Well that’s stupid, it seems like they stepped back a bit in terms of food calling technology.” This is true, but only technically…you see, they may have stepped back in terms of technology but stepped ahead in terms of evolution. By the wives constantly calling out to their husbands, sons and so fourth she would eventually loose her voice, therefore at the end of the day when the men come in from working they don’t have to hear their wives bitching and moaning about doing this and fixing that. Ingenious if you ask me.
This now brings us to current time triangling. It is seen as a womanish instrument now-a-days. God forbid if you get stuck with it in the high school band, or you will be the ultimate tool. Even when striking the instrument, it sounds like it is calling you a tool. But you are already a lost cause since you are in the high school band. Which brings us to our conclusion: The only way a triangle would be cool if it were dipped in gold then gasoline and lit on fire, then played with a human bone–also dipped in gold and on fire–as the beater. I hear that’s how the Pope rocks his triangle.
This guy tries to make the triangle look cool but ultimately fails because he is playing the triangle…and kind of looks like a douche while doing so.