Top 10 Childhood Crushes

This isn’t a post about girls from my 5th grade class that you never heard of. In fact these are celebrities (almost all tv related actually) that my boyhood self had crushes on from roughly the years 1989-1997 …give or take a year or two. I actually found this post pretty difficult and creepy to write about. Never the less, I hope you enjoy it and that is spurs some good comments.

(Note: In most cases I tried to get pictures of said “crush” straight from the era the show took place)

10 – DJ & Stephanie Tanner (Full House)
Stephanie Tanner

Once DJ got into mid high school era things started to fall into place for her and she maintained a level of attractiveness until the show ended. Stephanie didn’t really make it happen until Full House was in it’s last season. In theory I would never say these ladies were hot. Yet they were cute in a kind of non threatening bring home to mom type of way.

9 – Marcia Brady (The Brady Bunch)
Marcia Brady

So what if the show had been off the air for 20 years before I saw it. The re-runs were on constantly when I was a kid. There’s something very sexy about her that I could never put my finger on. Maybe it’s the whole 1960’s fashion she had, or the plain as day hairstyle, I didn’t know then and I don’t know now, but I was all about it.

8 – Melody and Brad (Hey Dude)
Melody and Brad

Melody turned out to look like this. And when I was a teenager, I was convinced that Brad became Xena. Need I say anymore?

7 – Carol Foster/Lambert (Step By Step)
Carol Foster/Lambert

MILF. This show was the first time I think I became aware of the concept of a cougar. Right in the Thighmaster era of Suzanne Somers career. It’s funny, I never saw her on Three Is Company till I was much older. But I still prefer her on Step By Step. She’s got the curves of a mother who understands.

6 – Women of Baywatch (Baywatch)
Women of Baywatch

Looking back on it, Baywatch was the first soft core porn I ever watched. Somebody was smart enough to give us a tv series that featured Pamela Anderson in her prime in a bathing suit for 95% of an episode every week. (Side note: Does anyone else remember that other show VIP that she was on?) Than toss in Yasmine Bleeth and Nicole Eggerts and life is good.

5 – Topanga Lawrence (Boy Meets World)
Topanga Lawrence

Clearly we’re not talking about early on in Boy Meets World where they made Topanga into a weird hippie with ugly hair. We’re talking about prime high school Topanga. I know some people gave up on her during the college era when she gained some weight and got thicker. But my friends, it’s all win/win on the Topanga train.

Also, this is what she looks like now in case you were wondering. You’re welcome.

4 – Carmen Electra (Singled Out)
Carmen Electra

MTV’s Singled Out made one of the best swap outs of all time. Second only to Brad Pitt dumping Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie. When MTV gave Jenny McCarthy her own show, they replaced her on Singled Out with Carmen Electra. Men everywhere were the real winners in that situation. Carmen Electra has all the dimensions God himself would ever want, she oozed sex without even trying. There’s no facade there, she’s the real deal.

3 – Alicia Silverstone
Alicia Silverstone

If you’ve ever seen the 1993/1994 Aerosmith videos for, “Cryin“, “Amazing” and “Crazy” you absolutely know what I’m talking about. This was as close as MTV got to sex before rap videos had really begun to corner their market.

2 – Jenny McCarthy (Singled Out/Jenny McCarthy Show)
Jenny McCarthy

Singled Out helped my adolescence in more ways than one. Jenny McCarthy was a young boy’s dream/description/fantasy of sex personified. If I was in a Weird Science (the movie) situation at that age, I wouldn’t have gone with Kelly LeBrock, my computer would have created Jenny McCarthy. MTV than giving her her own sketch comedy show was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

1 – Kelly Kapowski (Saved By The Bell)
Kelly Kapowski

The all American girl next door. Tiffani-Amber Thiessen may not have been as curvy and full bodied as she was on 90210 (or that strange Miami Vice type show with Bill Bellamy that Fox aired late Saturday nights at the end of the 90’s). But to every abled bodied boy and teenager in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s Kapowski was where it was at. I’m not saying she is the best looking or hottest girl on this list. However I along with millions of other boys at the time just thought she was the best goddamn thing we had ever laid our adolescent eyes upon.

Honorable Mentions:

Clarissa (Clarissa Explains It all)

Alex Mack (The Secret World Of Alex Mack)

Jamie Powell (Charles In Charge)

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12 Responses to Top 10 Childhood Crushes

  1. Because i’m a fool. Kelly Bundy would own most of these ladies. I forgot Alyssa Milano and Nikki Cox too.

    Epic Fail

  2. really…no Winnie Cooper? For you, of all people, to leave her off this list…tsk tsk…
    That wasn’t part of the deal Flint/Blackheart!

  3. While I do agree that the majority of these women are in fact cute if not hot, I feel that it is only fair that the fairer sex gets their rebuttle. I’m sure there will be several disagreements with my top ten childhood crushes as I was and still am a weirdo, but most of them will ring true.

    10.) Prince Eric – Yes, I know he is a cartoon, but he got to plow Ariel. Enough said.

    9.) Davy Jones – This is where others will disagree. He is old enough to be my father, but back in the Monkees hayday he could bang a tambourine like no other.

    8.) Kevin Arnold – The truth is I actually had a crush on Wayne, but that’s not something I’m proud of.

    7.) Shawn Hunter – not techincally hot but when you’re only competition is Corey, you become a 10.

    6.) Pete Wrigley – I am of course talking about little Pete. He was far cooler than his namesake brother. He has a superhero bff and sexy tattoo. Which reminds me, why wasn’t Petenia on this list?

    5.) Leonardo DiCaprio – There are only two movies I have ever seen more than 5 times in the movie theater. Titanic is one of them and it’s not because I love watching rich people from 1914 get demolished by a ship propeller.

    4.) Zack Morris – This is probably the only TV show that I could ever win a trivia contest on (I have won many a drunken contest). I was obsessed with Zack Morris. Kelly was my nemesis. I never understood the Tori thing, though.

    3.) Aladdin – Yes, another cartoon. Maybe I have a weird fetish. Who knows? Not only was he voiced by DJ Tanners boyfriend Steve, but no one can argue that Aladdin wasn’t jacked. That dude had serious sex appeal. He made my 7 year old self want to grow up fast so he could really take me to a whole new world.

    2.) Nick Carter – I probably spent all of my allowence as well as some of my College fund on this asshole. I was obsessed with the Backstreet Boys. When i was 14 and my parents told me we were going to Hawaii that summer, I cried and screamed because I was going to miss the Backstreet Boys concert. Rember that short lived MTv show FANatic? I actually sent in a video to them.

    1.) Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT) – The Lion King is the only other movie I have seen more than 5 times in the movie theater. JTT was probably the first poster I had on my bedroom wall. I was allowed to stay up 30 minutes later on the night that Home Improvement was on. I remember getting in trouble in 6th grade because I signed my homework with the last name Thomas (which isn’t even that dudes real last name). I’ve since heard rumors that he’s gay and it broke my heart.

  4. YEA Where is WINNIE @???? And Those new pics of topanga are off the hooooook!!! I gave up on that fat chick but damn things have channnnnged…Overall great article and i would agree on it all

  5. BRAVO sir BRAVO. I am with you and i stuck in there with Topanga through thick and thin. She is smoking hot. the only thing i could disagree about is having her below silverstone. other than that…… BRA Fucking VO
    Dr Ted Lanceford III

    • We are actually in the process of doing a Part 2. So a lot of girls we didn’t get to in this Top 10 are most likely going to be in the next.

      Stay tuned…

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