It’s come to my attention from several friends, co-workers, family members, and strangers, that I make sounds similar to what a caveman would make. Is that a problem?
Personally, I think cavemen get a bad rap because everyone is always all caught up in them being primitive, but seriously these motherfuckers were the world’s most hardcore inventors. Don’t believe me? Look at a short list of their accomplishments:
- Fire: first people to figure out a way to create it
- The Wheel: first source of modern transportation
- Steak: yep, they invited the flame broil
- Weaponry: clubs, spears, and arrows
- Art: cave paintings (Captain Kirk was actually caught masturbating to what he thought was a cave woman painting but it turned out to be a primitive deer painting.)
- Polygamy: cavemen did it right and selected quantity over quality
Now tell me it’s a damn honor to be considered a caveman!
Just to be a dick, because you’re reading a blog that might contain three of the modern world’s biggest assholes, walk around the next few days and give our a heart “rahhhh” or “runnh” at the top of your lungs. You’ll feel fantastic. And if people look at you funny, feel free to club them mercilessly with your shoe (or anything within reason for that matter).
The only shitty thing about being considered a modern day caveman is those pussy GEICO cavemen that ruined the image. It’s the equivalent of what hair metal did to rock music in the mid-80’s.