Hollywood, Stop Raping My Childhood

Hollywood has grown increasingly fat and lazy just like George Lucas. I know this is nothing new, since we live in an era of countless sequels, spin offs and remakes. I’ve already succumbed to the fact that about 5 good movies get made a year (if we’re lucky). But, what’s really been pissing me off  is the severe raping of my childhood by Hollywood for ideas for the last half of the decade or so.

It seems their way of thinking is that if something was popular once (i.e. the 1980’s) it is ripe for reinvention and will become popular again. All I know is that they’ve already capitalized on Transformers, G. I. Joe, the A-Team,  Karate Kid, a Voltron movie is in the works, a Thundercats CGI movie was scrapped AND I know i’m missing a shit ton. When does it end? We’re not buying into the “nostalgia” cash in, Hollywood. This is coming from a Captain whose posts are based in nostalgia 75% of the time.

What is unforgivable though is the impending release of a live action/CGI Smurfs movie. Re-read that again. A live action/CGI Smurfs movie. Yup, just like Avatar. Not only that, but it’s planned to be a trilogy.  It gets better though. Katy Perry will star as Smurfette and Hank Azaria as Gargamel. We’ve just sunk to an all new low.

Seriously, What. The. Fuck?


What’s next a live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Duck Tales movie? A reboot of Saved By The Bell as a movie? Stop being so fucking pathetic, Hollywood. Grow some balls.

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