I assume many of us scour the internet for food recipes to impress your mom on Christmas, your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day or a pirate on Talk Like A Pirate Day. Look no further. There is a site out on the vast internet titled, Cooking for Assholes. I’m an asshole, you’re an asshole, we’re all assholes. So every asshole should head on over to this delectable website and cook up some of his fine ass meals. If not, then the Green Dragon is waiting for your lazy ass.
Well if my spiel wasn’t good enough for you, then take it from the actual guy who runs the site:
You suck at cooking. You fuck up rice. You think Cayenne is that fat bitch from around the way and Old Bay is the piece of shit that keeps calling the cops on you and your boys. Stop being such a fucking loser and grow a brain. Cooking is easy as shit. Learn it.