D-D-D-D-Do you have it?


A couple summers ago, me and a couple of buddies were sitting around watching old GUTS! matches on the Nickelodeon Channel (Legends of the Hidden Temple, Nick Arcade, Double Dare, awesome, awesome and more awesome) and before the always entertaining Agrocrag, one of my friends said “gimme odds on who wins this thing” and the light bulbs went off in our heads. Here’s how to bet on GUTS!

Step 1
Assign demographics towards the 3 GUTS competitors (black kid, tall girl, white kid etc etc)

Step 2
Find out who will be The House for the first event (everyone takes a turn as The House) and have that person set the odds for the event. The odds follow a Horse betting model, so the odds will be something like: Black Kid 1-1, White kid 3-1, Tall girl 8-1. There is a $3 max bid. As the house, your main goal is to set the odds so that you get action on ALL THREE COMPETITORS. It is of monumental importance you start to develop theories as to who excels at what events. The small white kids are always the best at the jungle gym, any girl is a disaster when it comes to paddling in water etc etc.

Step 3
Mike O’ Malley
Mike O' Malley

Step 4
Take bets.

Step 5
Watch the individual event. Assign winnings.

Step 6
Rotate the house, rinse, repeat.

Step 7
Pause for O’ Malley face.

Step 8
Try to spot Backstreet Boys member A.J. McLean as one of the competitors

It is much, much easier to be watching this on a DVR so that you can pause and give everyone time to assign odds and place bets. Here’s the betting board. Note that Warbucks was up 106 bucks.


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3 Responses to D-D-D-D-Do you have it?

  1. I know CAPT. FLINTHEART was playing this!!! haha I used to love watching this show seeing these kids fail and the looks on their faces. Do you know why this great GAS network has been ridden off the air??? The agro crag fucked up even the best competitors, especially when the doofus forgets one button and has to go back. I never bet on this show but it was great to watch stoned/drunk

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