Jabba the Hut and Procreation

Upon a drinking a few beers last night, I was engaged in one of the greatest questions of all time: how would Jabba the Hutt have sex? It’s virtually impossible looking at this beast:

Jabba is an animal. He has no visible genitalia. He is a huge fat ass that sits around and eats crazy looking lobsters for snacks.

His obsession with Princess Leia and that other crazy chick with crazy shit on her head says something – Jabba lika the ladies. But how does he perform sexually? How would the schematics of sex work between Jabba and say, Leia? Thinking about this rationally, because of the shear size of Jabba, Leia would have to do all the work.

This begs another question, how in the hell could Jabba get a woman to have sex with him? It’s not like he’s got this nice cuddly side where he secretly watches Sex in the City and enjoys longs strolls on the beach for christsake. This fucker froze his biggest enemy and hung him on the wall for decoration! Talk about badass!

There’s a lot of uncertainty here. Too many questions, not enough answers. It seems that Jabba is the precursor for the douchebag that has trophy girls surrounding him, but is unable to perform sexually. Looks like that has trophy girls surrounding him, but is unable to perform sexually. Looks like George Lucas was trying to warn us of the future?? Marinade on that!

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4 Responses to Jabba the Hut and Procreation

  1. I took care of a patient the other night that was roughly the size of Jabba the hut. He had a daughter that was just as large as he was. I, too, was shocked that he was able to procreate, but I’m guessing that he found a way. It probably involved a titanium reinforced bed matress and a hoist to lift up his fat rolls to get to his junk, but it was done.

    Just thought you should know.

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  5. Ever heard about Bukkake? I guess that fat snail just wanks off over the ladies & THAT will be a friggin big facial load if you compare body size to possible semen amount!

  6. Well, just saw this again so ill comment while its still fresh, animals have different sized dongs so he could have a tiny compatible human sized dong, or be hung like a mother freakin whale, Leia is a pet slave on a leash so her doing all the work is a given, shes about the only woman in the original star wars movie universe and somewhat attractive so shes probably quite the supermassive black hole, quite adept at taking and polishing light sabers, reguardless, she would be made to shut her whore mouth and screw, now back to pimp daddy Jabba we all saw the size of his tounge so he could literally lick Leia off to insanity, and he has evil small hands (Rubio told me) so he could be quite hands on in his slave inspection, giving her the finger so to speak, i think we can all agree that Jabba was the freaking man, had the money to have bounty hunters bring hes enemies to him, (what he did to solo like you mentioned) kept babes in alien bikinis as pets, had a cool pad with a band, if you pissed him off he fed you to the awesome rancor, had that sweet ride, that hover barge thing, if you really really pissed him off hed fed you to that living pit thing, he had it made, and he would of gotten away with it too if it wasnt for those meddling rebellion kids. p.s. you know Leia kept that slave outfit, i can hear solo and her at night – “whos your Jabba!!” ….. “you are Han”, “well gee Leia, you could say it with a little more feeling” “im sorry but Jabba was much bigger!” lol

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