Captain of the Month – September 2009

“But Captain Jack will get you high tonight,
And take you to your special island.
Captain Jack will get you by tonight.
Just a little push, and you’ll be smilin”

Lyrics by one of the greatest, born and raised in NY, Mr. Billy Joel. If there was anything he could do better than mix lyrics into a great song – it was mix Captain Jack into the lyrics. And the only thing he could do better than that?… well just drink Jack and plow his car threw the neighbors fence and garden. So which Jack is he singing about? Jack Daniels? Jack Sparrow? A mysterious Jack who he met on one of his many drunken missions? Maybe his favorite Jack in the box on the corner of his block? Only Billy knows for sure. But what TCM knows is it’s the exact type of Jack we’re going to highlight this month! The one drink every man can’t live without! Jack

(Captain Yar’s PJ’s – sent in from Cadet Hot Dog)

Jack Daniels: No one knows the true story of a young Jack. Folk Lore says he ran away from home when he was but 4 years old, living off the carnival life well into his teenage years. Tribal stories whisper of a promiscuous past, where he lived in a brothel, serving the whores in whatever they required (Or was that Captain Flintheart?). And the bible teaches us to stay away from anything by the name of Daniel, as it means a form of judgement. In all likelihood, Jack is a mixture of all these things of a forgotten past – as the stories from the brew Jack eventually created would become everyone’s. Well, until morning, when 4 aspirin can barely cure the headache that would ensue from a night after polishing a bottle of some of the finest, and it is later to be found out the black eye was caused by your wife.

The liquor has touched us all. None more though, than our very own Captain Polish who is quoted as saying, “I didn’t have a hair on my body until a night with Jack. Now look at me! I should have stuck with Smirnoff.”

(Captain Polish – Post Jack Daniels)

BONUS FEATURE! Captain Jack – the band!
A Captain Flintheart favorite. Enjoy!

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