Don’t say you heard it here first, but this years Winter Olympics in Sochi, Jamaica will have a bobsled team. You read that correctly. Jamaica will have a bobsled team. This is the first time they qualified since 2002. The actors who played Derice Bannock (Leon), Sanka Coffie (Doug E. Doug), Junior Bevil (Rawle D. Lewis) and Yul Brenner (Malik Yoba) will all don their black, green and yellow jumpsuits hop in the bobsled and slide towards victory. I would like a moment of silence for their coach, John Candy…
We were able to catch up with actor, Leon (Derice) and ask him how he feels about going to the 2014 Winter Olympics. Here is what he had to say:
Who are you and what are you doing in my house!? No I’m not going to the Olympics! That was just a movie! Get out, now! I’m calling the goddamn cops!
So after that horrifying mistake, we should have checked our facts. Beside the amazing fact that we actually found out where Leon lives, the excitement of actually rooting for a Jamaican bobsled team must have clouded our judgement. So we took about 2 minutes to figure out that it is just actually a 2 man bobsled team that unfortunately have no relation to the actors in Cool Runnings.
Pilot Winston Watts and other guy Marvin Dixon did qualify but have an issue about actually being able to go to the games. According to some sources, they needed $80k or about 20 pounds of marijuana to all of the Rasta’s reading. So their trip to Sochi seemed doomed.
Insert the internet.
Not only did they get their $80k in funding to go to the games, but an additional $40k on top of that for an astounding $120k. What is even better is that $25,000 of that was raised in Dogecoin. For those who don’t know what Dogecoin is, it is an online internet currency (much like Bitcoin) named after this dog meme. I was currently unaware that you could pay for things with that. I will have to bring this up next time I get that hooker from the yellow pages (Page 89, bottom left if you’re all wondering).
Anyways, here is their “official” announcement:
— Team Jamaica (@JamaicaOlympics) January 18, 2014
Let’s go Jamaica. Now for what you’ve been waiting for, a best of Cool Running video!