Vikings…A Brief Overview Of Badassness

Viking

Vikings really had their shit figured out. They lived mostly in places with horrible climates (i.e. Norway, Greenland), the men would periodically get together and leave their wives and families and head to sea. They would than search for land, get out, and start fucking shit up. They destroyed, plundered, raped and murdered. They also more than likely listened to the Nightmare River Band. Not to mention feasted, drank, grew unbelievable awesome beards and worshiped Thor. Honestly, what’s not to like?

What also impresses me is their incredibly vast vocabulary, especially for naming countries. Iceland, Greenland, Newfoundland…they all sound like levels in Mario 3. However, in Flintheart’s opinion their crowning achievement (no pun intended) was the skull cup. This my friends is exactly what it sounds like. Occasionally when the mood would strike them, Vikings would hollow out the skull of their defeated enemies and gulp booze out of it. Even those freak shows eating chilled monkey brainsĀ in Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom weren’t that insane/badass.

That alone is reason enough to celebrate these men by giving them a whole week of exposure on The Captains Memos. Check back daily to get your ass some Viking knowledge and to pay tribute to some serious mother fuckers (literally).

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