Present Day Pirates – Part I

Pirates are all over the place still to this day. While there has been a recent surge in pirating in the Indian Ocean, there is still acts of piracy going on right underneath our noses. Take for example a female pirate that struck it rich by scheming out her ex-husband millions. Don’t know who were talking about? It’s none other than Heather Mills McCartney.

Why is she a pirate you ask? Well, she did screw her ex-husband and ex-Beatle Paul McCartney out of millions in divorce settlements. Now I know what you’re saying…”she isn’t the first to do that and won’t be the last.” ThisĀ is true, but there’s one distinguishing feature Pirate Mills McCartney has that most damsels lack – a peg leg.

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Pirate Mills McCartney is seen here with a collection of peg legs looking to enhance her booty by selling them on the black market. A Pirate such as Mills would be able to collect a lot of booty from the fellows in Tortuga on such purchases.

If you’re wondering why she has a peg leg to begin with, she lost it while raviging towns along the coastline in Africa. She’s a trooper though; peg leg and all she’s back into piracy in full force by making millions suffer watching her dance moves on FOX. The peg leg was not sturdy enough to support her through the entire contest, but like a drunken sea wench, she danced her dance of seductiveness until the crowds bellies gave way.

The Captains salute thee, Heather Mills McCartney. A peg leg, plundering of a loved ones booty, and widespread suffering has made you a Present Day Pirate.

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