Pleasuring the Pirate, A Book Review

Today at TCM, we would like to get intellectual on everyone and review a book.  In light of it being Pirate Week, what more appropriate book to review than Pleasuring the Pirate by Emily Bryan.

Pleasuring the Pirate

To begin, lets discuss the title of the book; Pleasuring the Pirate. When I first saw the title, I was a bit confused. Was this a guide on how to pleasure a pirate, because I can tell you in 1 word on how to do so: Booty….well, also swashbuckling. So 2 words then.  But as I thought deeper into it, no…this book was an adventure, a dangerously romantic adventure.

The main wench’s name is Jacquelyn and the main pirate character’s name is Gabriel. In all honestly Ms. Bryan, you couldn’t have come up with a better name for a pirate than Gabriel? I would have chose Guts the Black Swordsman or Brock Sampson just to name a few.

As I opened up the first chapter and read the first sentence:

The next time I decide to kill a man, Jacquelyn thought, I really need to find better help.

I was thinking, she should have called me,  I can help her with her troubles. All you need to do sweetheart is either get a gun and shoot them in the head, or stab them in the chest with your sword. Which again brought me further into thinking was she talking about breaking up with a man and breaking his heart?  Quite possibly. I continued further on…

After reading a few chapters, I gots to thinking…Gabriel was a master swordsman. Take this excerpt for example:

Gabriel flashed his blade and, quick as thought, flicked the top button from Jack’s shirt.

Jack of course being the main wench…God forbid there be a gay pirate. Not only was Gabriel a master swordsman, but a master cocksman as well. I continued on with this soon to be excellent sex scene.

She squealed and clutched the shirt closed, but not before Gabriel was rewarded with a glimpse of the sweet meeting place between two tightly bound breasts.

That sweet meeting place that Ms. Bryan is talking about, its clevage. No doubt about it. If I was Gabriel, I would have pushed them together so they looked like a cross eyed torso.  But he is not as quick thinking as I am.

I could go on and on with this review.  So, I will sum this up for y’all in 1 sentence. Gabriel the pirate meets Jacquelyn the wench, they have butt sex and swashbuckle happily ever after. The end.

If you are into that kind of stuff, I suggest heading out to your local book store and picking up a copy of Pleasuring the Pirate, by Emily Bryan. If you do, be sure to dress like a pirate, cause that will truly show your dedication.

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