Where were you on 8/23?

This is a day that will live in infamy. More likely than not only for a week or 2. Yesterday, folks on the Eastern Seaboard (That’s the East Coast for all of you gangsta’s) had an earthquake. It was centered somewhere in Virginia and the violent, destructive shaking was felt from Boston down to South Carolina. Here is a photo of some of the aftermath:

I hope no one was in that seat at the time.

Here are several other things I hope people were not doing during the Eastern Earthquake of 2011. If so, may God save their souls…

  • Walking a tightrope
  • Building a house out of cards
  • Putting together a model ship inside a glass bottle
  • Painting pinstripes on a fancy ass car
  • Getting a tattoo
  • Putting on makeup
  • Stacking all of your empty beer cans into an extremely tall tower

Anyhoo, the earthquake was just Momma Earth letting us know that she is there and could easily (in Russian accent) crush us like bug. All in all, it was really nothing. The rumble could have been compared to one of my fat neighbors taking their morning shit. I get stinky ass 6.0 tremors on the reg thanks to them. Well lucky for you all, at least the earthquake didn’t smell like shit having sex with puke and then them having a baby. Then that baby grows up and has sex with a fart and then they have a baby. Then that baby grows up and has sex with garbage and they have a baby. Then that baby takes a shit. Yes, it is exactly like that.

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