Lynyrd Skynyrd ain’t the only one with a sweet home.

Some of the coolest homes you have ever seen are in your favorite TV shows and/or movies. Unless your favorite shows and movies involve homeless people, then my friend, you shit out of luck. Fortunately for TV and film, the only thing holding back what house a character lives in, is the imagination. Some imaginations can do great things. Here are several places, in no particular order, which I would like to inhabit. Mind you there are tons of TV and movie places I would like to live, but these are just a few for all you critics out there.

The Clampett Estate – Beverly Hills, CA
The Clampett Estate
As Seen In: Beverly Hillbillies
Estimated Purchase Cost: $8,173,500
Why I would live in it: This is an awesome mansion even if it was considered modern back in the 60s. Jed Clampett shot into the ground and struck oil. So what did that redneck do? Bought this ballin’ ass estate. I would live here because of the awesome landscape that comes along with the house and when I mean awesome landscape I’m really talking about Elly May Clampett and her fine ass self (1960s Elly May of course). It also doesn’t hurt to have a shotgun totin’ granny on premise as your head of security.


Jackie Treehorn Estate – Malibu Beach, CA
Jackie Treehorn Estate
As Seen In: The Big Lebowski
Estimated Purchase Cost: $4,565,000
Why I would live in it: Not only did smut legend Jackie Treehorn occupy this house, but it is currently owned by NBA “superfan” James Goldstein. To me basketball is probably the most boring sport on earth right next to figure skating and World Championship Text Messaging. So how anyone could be a “superfan” of this game beats the shit out of me. But if being a “superfan” gets a house like this, sign my ass up. We have only seen tidbits of the house in the movie Big Lebowski, but from what I’ve seen, I think Goldstein is living a pretty solid life even if his wife’s bedroom nickname is Dennis “The Worm” Rodman.


Xavier Institute for Higher Learning – North Salem, NY
Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
As Seen In: X-Men
Estimated Purchase Cost: $9,500,000
Why I would live in it: For one, all of the women from the X-Men movies are pretty hot that live in the mansion, so that is a fairly good reason right there. Secondly, The Danger Room is quite possibly the coolest room ever. Don’t know what it is? Look it up. Third, if I could somehow inherit a mutant power like, I dunno seeing through the clothes of the female X-Men, I probably wouldn’t leave that place for any sort of money. Ok, only to go get Taco Bell and weed.


Pemberton Castle – Austin, TX
Pemberton Castle
As Seen In: Blank Check
Estimated Purchase Cost: $2,000,000
Why I would live in it: Not sure if you have all seen this movie. I did back in the day on one of those unfortunate rentals. You know, you rent the movie you think would be awesome but it certainly wasn’t. That is the case with Blank Check. But we aren’t here to talk ill of that movie, lets talk about the kid’s house, “Pemberton Castle”. From what I recall this place is built like a medieval castle which is pretty damn sweet to begin with. I wouldn’t fill it up with modern day amenities, no. I would go out and find all medieval weaponry and decorations. I would create a moat around the castle with a couple of Nile crocs, you know…the big ones, get the annoying French guy from Monty Python and the Holy Grail along with the animal catapult to guard the gate, hire a couple of professional archers that are professionals at shooting nuclear tipped arrows and let’s top it all off with Martin Lawrence from the movie Black Knight as my personal Black Knight. Goddamn. That’s a recipe for awesome right there.


Rich Estate – Ashville, NC
Rich Estate
As Seen In: Richie Rich
Estimated Purchase Cost: $200,000,000
Why I would live in it: Roller coaster, personal scientists, catapult, coolest bedroom ever, and unlimited butler’s and maids and. What else could you ask for in a house besides having your own personal Mt. Rushmore. What’s that? There is one!? Well fuckin’ A, you bet your ass I’d have my face on that piece of rock.


Ghostbusters Firehouse – Manhattan, NY
Ghostbusters Firehouse
As Seen In: Ghostbusters I & II
Estimated Purchase Cost: A couple million?
Why I would live in it: What kid didn’t want to live in a firehouse growing up, especially the Ghostbusters firehouse. If not, you were either a girl or gay. This is probably my favorite on the list solely because this is probably my favorite movie of all time. Aside from that, who the hell wouldn’t want their house to come equipped with a couple of proton packs, a containment unit and the Ecto-1. Shit yea, I want those.


Pee Wee’s Playhouse – Puppetland
Pee Wee's Playhouse
As Seen In: Pee Wee’s Playhouse
Estimated Purchase Cost: Unfurnished: A handjob. Furnished: $3,592,000
Why I would live in it: I don’t really think this question needs to be asked. If you have seen the show, this house is pretty much what a 6 to 22 year old’s mind is compromised of. A chair that friken’ talks (holy crap!), a fortune telling head, a talking TV phone, Lawrence Fishburne, a robot, and a puppet band. That of course only being some of the “furnishings” that come along with this house. I’ve always wondered where Pee Wee went to after he left the playhouse each day. From what I understand it is something along the lines of this place.

Let us know which homes you would enjoy inhabiting.

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2 Responses to Lynyrd Skynyrd ain’t the only one with a sweet home.

  1. I have been to the “Rich estate” in Asheville NC. The place is called the biltmore. They filmed part of hannibal there and the place is fucking insanely big… It has crazy stone work on the front of it with gargoyles sorry i cannot spell. and they have their own winery. It is a really cool place that was owned by the Vanderbilts and they have a lake on the grounds and nice trout streams . the place is fucking amazing. but when you go there you get all depressed because you think about living there and living where you live and say to yourself .. i will never live in a place 1/16th the size and then you go drown your pathetic sorrows in their winery… nice post Yar,
    okay
    Dr Lanceford

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