So it’s been some time… Quite some time… Almost 2 years in time… 2 years, 2 months and 28 days if you want to be a dick about it. You’re probably wondering what we’ve been doing. To be perfectly honest, we’ve been getting married, having kids and taking boner medicine. But you didn’t come here to hear that boring crap. So I shall entertain…
In November of 2011 and opportunity arose to where a bear circus was up for sale via Craigslist. Since that being one of my dreams to own a bear circus, I immediately jumped on the opportunity. At the cost of $150 and a half a six pack of Bud Ice Light, I was the new owner of a bear circus. What is a bear circus you are asking? Well it is exactly what the title says, a circus that is completely staffed by bears. There are bear clowns, bear’s dressed up as lions, bears selling popcorn and cotton candy; the whole lot. There also may or may not have been a bunch of bears playing hockey.
Upon arriving at my newly owned bear circus all but one of the bears were dead, eaten by each other except for the remaining one. It was the bear that worked at the cotton candy booth. Upon further investigation, the lone surviving bear wasn’t a bear at all. It was a guy dressed up in a bear costume. I was outraged. The lone surviving bear (guy in a bear suit) and myself drove back over to the guys place from whom I purchased the bear circus. I demanded my money and beer back. He refused since he drank it all and spent the $150 on an obscure fruit of the month club. After trying to get the bear to “sick” the man and then realizing again that it was a dude in a bear costume and not a dog/bear, I decided to take the man to small claims court. This is what happened:
(Yes, this was the best version I could find.)
Yea sorry, that was stupid. If you liked that, then I pity you…but stay tuned for more!