"Office Worker" Characters – Blackberry Thumbs

Let’s face it – we all know blackberry thumbs when we see it. It’s typically a person of high perceived stature that can’t comprehend all the function of the blackberry device, i.e. mid-to-high level management, or youth that can’t get enough of bbm and texting their friends. Since this is a post series on “office worker” characters (I put it in quotes since no one in an office does actual work), we’ll be covering the first of these two classifications.

This is the best pic I could pull off the Internet, but you get the point. If your boss is either given a blackberry or feels important enough that they should have one and actually went out and bought one, this is probably one of the scenes you’re familiar with on a daily basis. I’m going to break down the person who sits above you on the totem poll who has the blackberry:

1. They’re self important
2. They have trouble using basic software applications
3. They’re rude
4. They can give a shit about you since they’re now at “the blackberry level” in the company

Let’s take these one at a time.

They’re self important. Is your boss approachable now with a blackberry? Probably not. Any time you see them in a meeting or in general they are thumbing through it looking for more work that’s important than what you’re going to bring them.

They have trouble using basic software applications. Screw knowing how to use Excel, Access, and PowerPoint – you now have to learn how to use your blackberry! I find it humorous that people that end up with blackberry’s in an organization have difficulty putting together a decent presentation or working formulas into a spreadsheet.

They’re rude. Here’s you in a meeting, “…bottom line is we need to grow our sales by 10% annually to hit our five year goals…”. Here’s them during your meeting, “[tap, tap, tap, tapppp, tap, tap, tapppppp, tap]”. Yep. They didn’t listen to anything you said or anything that happened at the meeting because they have a blackberry.

They can give a shit about you since they’re now at “the blackberry level” in the company. Having your company give you a blackberry is the equivalent of being knighted in the middle ages – your superiors know you’re better than your colleagues and need to give you something more to show it. “Blackberry level” is the top part of the pyramid. None of the shmucks and losers will be seen with a company blackberry – management makes sure this never will happen.

Moral of the story, this character can go either way in terms of popularity at a company. The Yeomen hate Blackberry Thumbs while the elite consider them one of their own. Captain Flintheart actually fits the mold of a Blackberry Thumbs, but we all know that he’s just surfing porn.

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